Humor – What is politics?

•January 5, 2016 • Comments Off on Humor – What is politics?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”

The dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your mother, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.”

The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.

He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.”

The father says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”

The little boy replies, “Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit.”

 

http://www.laughfactory.com/

 

Posted in Funny or Not

Dear Cthulhu – Resolutions

•January 4, 2016 • Comments Off on Dear Cthulhu – Resolutions

Dear Cthulhu,

Once again I find myself surrounded by the optimism of a new year, the bright promise of a fresh start, resolutions are being made, all change seems possible (if not even likely), all possibilities and potentialities are within our grasp. Unknowingly continuing the Roman worship of the G-d Janus – who presided over doorways, transitions, conflict, journeys the G-d of all beginnings and endings. Whose two faces had the ability to look into the past and the future simultaneously.

But while this has been custom for so long, it’s interesting to me that unlike Janus we tend to only focus on the future…perhaps if we kept a closer eye on the past it would help us stick to our goals for the year; grounding those goals in the reality of our past performance. Or perhaps that is the purpose in this, just as Janus sees all beginnings and endings that repetition is just as constant.

Well, I have babbled on long enough. I’m curious to here your thoughts on this and look forward to your next message. Last nights flooded office with dance breaks and surprise visitors while I desperately tried to pack my things was very interesting, I thank you for the pondering that has caused.

Your Committed Servant

O

Posted in Dear Cthulhu, Writing
Tags: , ,

Question – Name 3 Things You Should Have Done Today

•September 10, 2015 • Comments Off on Question – Name 3 Things You Should Have Done Today

Name 3 things you should have done today.

 

Hahaha…well…procrastination is a favorite hobby of mine as is keeping to-do lists sooo this one is both an easy one and slightly painful. We’ll go in order…

  1. I should have gotten up on time this morning, that would have made the rest of my task list easier to accomplish but I had the day off and when the alarm went off I turned it off instead of hitting snooze, an hour later I managed to get up.
  2. Which led to me missing out on half of my workout today, I got up and made it through boot camp but entirely skipped the cardio portion in favor of tackling the longer list of writing tasks I had on my list.
  3. I had planned to mix up my day by working on replacing some faucets today but in light of the late start and the long list I’ve decided to focus today entirely on writing and working on the house tomorrow. In hindsight I should have just gotten it over with.

How about you?

Posted in Question Time

September 2015 – Haiku

•September 9, 2015 • Comments Off on September 2015 – Haiku

Tinkling the ivories.

Something I often tried to learn

but never mastered.

 

Oh the manly beard,

Scratchy, scruffy, smelly, rough,

Glad I can’t grow the stuff!

 

Shiver me timbers!!

It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Why IS the rum gone?

 

It’s not surprising

To me at least, that coffee

and hearts share a day.

 

September used to

be the month I mourned Summer.

Now? Hooray for Fall!!

 

 

Posted in Haiku, Writing

Spammy Notes – Fund Consignment Boxes

•September 8, 2015 • Comments Off on Spammy Notes – Fund Consignment Boxes

I thought this one contained a greater than average amount of creativity as well as correct grammar, spelling and word usage. What really struck me though is that it was obviously sent from a legitimate business email account, containing the corporation’s email disclaimer at the end. This is a good reminder that we’re all responsible for the steady stream of this BS, watch what you click on and never open an attachment that looks fishy. 

INTERNATIONAL POLICE, UNITED STATES SECTION/INTERPOL

Region No. 2 New York City

P.O. Box 804 Knickerbockers Station

New York City, New -York 10002-0804 U.S.A.

 

9:49 AM Wednesday, July 29, 2015 (EDT) Time in New York, NY

 

Attention Fund Beneficiary

The office of the International Police  (INTERPOL) hereby write to inform you that we caught a diplomatic lady called Mrs. Dorothy Wallace at (John F. Kennedy International Airport) here in New  York with FUND CONSIGNMENT BOX filled with United State dollars.

WTF is a fund consignment box?! Let’s go with Webster’s on this one… Fund – a sum of money saved or made available for a particular purpose. Consignment – a batch of goods destined for or delivered to someone. Hmmm sooo a box full of money to be delivered to me?! OK!

Meanwhile, based on our preliminary investigation, the diplomat (Mrs. Dorothy Wallace) said that the fund consignment box belongs to you enroute delivery to your physical address, that she was sent by REVEREND MORRIS DIKE of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency Nigeria to deliver the fund consignment box to your doorstep not knowing that the content of the fund consignment box is money. The diplomat also said that her first transit in the States was New York, JFK International Airport New-York.

I don’t know where to begin here… that there is a National Drug Law Enforcement Agency in Nigeria (totally LEGIT!) or that they employ a Reverend or that a Reverend working for the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency in Nigeria is sending ME a fund consignment box full of <gasp> money. 

Now, the diplomat is under detention at the office of (I.P.A) security, We cannot release her until we carry out proper investigations before we can release her with your fund consignment box. You are to re-assure and prove to us that the money you are about to receive is legal by sending us the AWARD OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE showing that the money is not illegal.

Because something seems fishy about all of this?! You don’t say!

Note that the AWARD OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE must be secured from the office of the Senate president in Nigeria because that is the only office that will issue you the original Award Ownership Certificate of the said fund. You are also advised to forward immediately the Award Ownership Certificate, but if you DO NOT have it, we will urge you as a matter of urgency to contact back the sender of the diplomat to help you secure the Award Ownership Certificate if at all you did not have it.

Below is the contact information of the person that sent the diplomat.

Name: REVEREND MORRIS DIKE of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency Nigeria

Email: fgnadviser.ng@gmail.com

Direct telephone no: +2348089350730

Gmail email address for a government employee? Well, at least it’s a Nigerian phone number, it must be ok. 

Furthermore, we are giving you only but 2 working business days to forward the requested Award Ownership Certificate. Please note that we shall get back to you after the 2 working business days, if you do not come up with the certificate we shall confiscate the funds into World Bank account then charge you for money laundry but if you forward the Award Ownership Certificate then we will release the diplomat with your parcel box and also give you every back up till the money arrives your doorstep.

The World Bank?! You’ll confiscate the money into a World Bank account? You do know what the World Bank does…don’t you?

Also note that we are doing this to make sure that any huge amount of money like yours that enters United States is legitimate, we regret any inconveniences this might have caused you.

HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY! Of course it’s legitimate!

Thanks for your understanding, We are working for American interest.

Aren’t we all…

 

Yours Truly,

I.P.A REGION NO: 2 THANKS.

JAMES F ENTWISTLE

Committee of Police Societies, NYPD

 

Posted in Spam Spam Spam

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