Spammy Notes – Fund Consignment Boxes

I thought this one contained a greater than average amount of creativity as well as correct grammar, spelling and word usage. What really struck me though is that it was obviously sent from a legitimate business email account, containing the corporation’s email disclaimer at the end. This is a good reminder that we’re all responsible for the steady stream of this BS, watch what you click on and never open an attachment that looks fishy. 

INTERNATIONAL POLICE, UNITED STATES SECTION/INTERPOL

Region No. 2 New York City

P.O. Box 804 Knickerbockers Station

New York City, New -York 10002-0804 U.S.A.

 

9:49 AM Wednesday, July 29, 2015 (EDT) Time in New York, NY

 

Attention Fund Beneficiary

The office of the International Police  (INTERPOL) hereby write to inform you that we caught a diplomatic lady called Mrs. Dorothy Wallace at (John F. Kennedy International Airport) here in New  York with FUND CONSIGNMENT BOX filled with United State dollars.

WTF is a fund consignment box?! Let’s go with Webster’s on this one… Fund – a sum of money saved or made available for a particular purpose. Consignment – a batch of goods destined for or delivered to someone. Hmmm sooo a box full of money to be delivered to me?! OK!

Meanwhile, based on our preliminary investigation, the diplomat (Mrs. Dorothy Wallace) said that the fund consignment box belongs to you enroute delivery to your physical address, that she was sent by REVEREND MORRIS DIKE of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency Nigeria to deliver the fund consignment box to your doorstep not knowing that the content of the fund consignment box is money. The diplomat also said that her first transit in the States was New York, JFK International Airport New-York.

I don’t know where to begin here… that there is a National Drug Law Enforcement Agency in Nigeria (totally LEGIT!) or that they employ a Reverend or that a Reverend working for the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency in Nigeria is sending ME a fund consignment box full of <gasp> money. 

Now, the diplomat is under detention at the office of (I.P.A) security, We cannot release her until we carry out proper investigations before we can release her with your fund consignment box. You are to re-assure and prove to us that the money you are about to receive is legal by sending us the AWARD OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE showing that the money is not illegal.

Because something seems fishy about all of this?! You don’t say!

Note that the AWARD OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE must be secured from the office of the Senate president in Nigeria because that is the only office that will issue you the original Award Ownership Certificate of the said fund. You are also advised to forward immediately the Award Ownership Certificate, but if you DO NOT have it, we will urge you as a matter of urgency to contact back the sender of the diplomat to help you secure the Award Ownership Certificate if at all you did not have it.

Below is the contact information of the person that sent the diplomat.

Name: REVEREND MORRIS DIKE of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency Nigeria

Email: fgnadviser.ng@gmail.com

Direct telephone no: +2348089350730

Gmail email address for a government employee? Well, at least it’s a Nigerian phone number, it must be ok. 

Furthermore, we are giving you only but 2 working business days to forward the requested Award Ownership Certificate. Please note that we shall get back to you after the 2 working business days, if you do not come up with the certificate we shall confiscate the funds into World Bank account then charge you for money laundry but if you forward the Award Ownership Certificate then we will release the diplomat with your parcel box and also give you every back up till the money arrives your doorstep.

The World Bank?! You’ll confiscate the money into a World Bank account? You do know what the World Bank does…don’t you?

Also note that we are doing this to make sure that any huge amount of money like yours that enters United States is legitimate, we regret any inconveniences this might have caused you.

HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY! Of course it’s legitimate!

Thanks for your understanding, We are working for American interest.

Aren’t we all…

 

Yours Truly,

I.P.A REGION NO: 2 THANKS.

JAMES F ENTWISTLE

Committee of Police Societies, NYPD

 

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~ by Oden on September 8, 2015.

 
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