Grattings – Spammage

•November 11, 2014 • Comments Off on Grattings – Spammage

 

From: Elena [mailto:elisa.vitanza@bidmc.harvard.edu]

Sent: Monday, April 09, 2012 2:32 PM

Subject: Grattings

Hi. How you?

I umm fine…

You probably very amazed to my message.

So far I’m entirely amazed at your inability to use the word ‘are’.

Who am I? well that’s simple i love go to the movies, theatres, concerts, art museums. I enjoy nature and going to the camping, hiking, travel, sport.

That doesn’t actually answer that question; those are your hobbies, yes? Who are you, though?

 I like moonlight walks, candle light dinners.

 Who doesn’t?! I’m am into champagne and getting caught in the rain..

 I want my future partner to be strong and courages, confident, romantic, understanding, attentive…

Courages is a fine quality in a partner as is C-O-U-R-A-G-E-O-U-S but I digress…You were saying? 

I want to find my soul mate who will also be my best friend, a loving husband and a person that possess a loving heart that needs to be loved.

Preach it sister! 

I have a lot of love i want to give and share with someone who can receive that love and then give love in return.

Shoot! Forget the sharing love with people who don’t return it, they don’t deserve it!

If I have interested you I will send you the photos in the following letter. We could be pleasant the friend the friend.

Hmm wait…I’m not exactly husband material…and pleasant the what, the what? 

Here my an e-mail: lenayol@yahoo.com

But that is NOT the email you sent this from!

I will wait for your answer.

….a very long time…

Warmest regards, Elena

 

Q-Time – Bad Habits

•November 6, 2014 • Comments Off on Q-Time – Bad Habits

If you could get rid of one of your habits, what would it be?

I’m going to assume this refers to a bad habit. I mean why would you want to get rid of a good or positive habit, right? Well, I have a more than a few bad habits. I have conquered my fair share, some I have under control, others pop up at the worst time and still more are my close companions. My general thought about bad habits is that they are the spice of your personality, the things that make you uniquely you, a direct reflection of where you are today. I don’t worry about them and instead reflect on the why they are there and the degree of bad. You should embrace you, all of you.

That being said, they one that I struggle with the most is procrastination. I, under normal circumstances, am a highly productive person. I follow GTD methods, have a continual loop of assessment and adjustment, am always looking for way to improve but put me in a situation where I’m uncomfortable or I feel I am lacking and I will procrastinate to the point of panic. My lizard brain kicks in with the “You can’t do it”, “You’ll suck at it”, “Here, vacuum the house and wash the baseboards” messages, often times replacing the thing I should be working on with something much easier for me to control and perfect.

If I could lose one bad habit, eliminate a skelly from the closet that would be the one I’d pick. Though, along with it I’d also lose the days I whittled away with a good book, or spent color coordinating my closet. I’m not so sure that’s a good trade.

November Haiku

•November 5, 2014 • Comments Off on November Haiku

Lovely November

Month of Turkey, Politics

Veterans & My Birth

 

It’s time to square dance,

Eat nachos, cake and pickles

Don’t forget to floss.

 

Fall in Phoenix

Sweater & boot season. Hooray!

Ugh snowbirds invade.

 

Thanksgiving, day of

Gratitude, Feast and Family

I ask…Why football?

 

Soon I will be <gasp>

Fourty Four! A tribonacci!

Happy, palindrome!

Election Day Humor

•November 4, 2014 • Comments Off on Election Day Humor

I went into a Liberal clothing store today to purchase some pants.

When I started trying on a few pairs, I noticed that all the pockets except one were visibly removed. I stopped a clerk and ask him if anyone complained.

He said “No, Liberals always want a hand out.”

I asked what happened to the other pockets.

“They don’t go to waste: Conservatives use them to line theirs.”

Spammy – Super Secret Spy Stuff

•October 28, 2014 • Comments Off on Spammy – Super Secret Spy Stuff

From: info@fbi.gov

Subject: RE: >>>FUNDS TRANSFER NOTIFICATION ! ‏

Dear Funds Beneficiary,

Attn: Mr. /Mrs.,

This is an official letter from the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) foreign remittance/telegraphic transfers monitoring department.

An official letter sent via email… ooooookay

It has come to our notice that the sum of US$10,500,000.00 (ten million, five hundred thousand dollars) was transferred into Federal Reserve Bank in your FAVOR – as the beneficiary for final crediting into your personal bank account. The banks in Africa, Asia and Europe knowing full well that they do not have enough facilities to effect this payment via their corresponding bank used what we know as a “secret diplomatic transit payment” (S.D.T.P) to wire this funds to enable them achieve final crediting into your personal bank account.
Oooh a “secret diplomatic transit payment”. That sounds like super secret spy stuff!
Secret diplomatic wire transfers are funds relating to terrorist and drug sponsoring. Why must your payment be made in secret transfer if your transaction is legitimate? If you are not a terrorist or drug dealer, then why did you not receive the funds directly into your bank account? This is purely 100% illegal method of transferring funds which from our previous experiences have always been related to terrorist / drug act. We do not want you to get into enormous trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your bank account, so it is our duty as a worldwide commission to correct this little problem and this fund will be swiftly credited into your bank account.

Wait! You think I’m involved in super secret spy stuff?! ME!!

With full concern of the CIA, World Bank, IMF, United Nations, we wish to remind you of the consequences of remitting such huge sum of money without complying fully with the provisions of the Financial and Allied Matters Decree 5 as amended in sub-section C (6) of 2003, which stipulates that any monetary transaction of huge sum must have proper records that duly guarantees and covers the transaction as legitimate and legally acquired and not criminally or terrorist associated funds. This is due to the ongoing terrorist activities/economic crimes going on in the entire world.
Ha-ha! I read that as ‘Allied Masters Degree’!
We have gone through your identity records and our department on money transfers investigation signaled that you have some funds awaiting settlement and final crediting into your bank account. We advice you contact us immediately, as your funds have been temporarily placed on hold at the Federal Reserve bank here in United States based on our instruction until you can provide us with – Diplomatic Immunity Seal of Transfer (DIST) Clearance certificate (within 3 days) to fully regularize the transfer and certify that the funds you are about to receive is terrorist, drug and crimes free so that we shall instruct Federal Reserve Bank to release the funds to you immediately for your personal use.

But you’re sending this via email? Oooookay

Based on this, you are to assure and proof to us that the funds you are about to receive is legitimate by sending to us the Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) Clearance Certificate to certify that the fund is not for drug, terrorism money. You are to forward the document to us immediately if you have it in your possession. But if you don’t have it, kindly let us know so that we can direct you to the particular government agency that issues this document because we have come to realize that the funds were authorized by the bank that launched the transfer. So, we need your immediate response on this and cooperation in getting the funds release clearance paper to enable us resolves this matter without arresting you.

Why is this email so damn long?!

WARNING: This E-mail and any of its attachments may contain FBI proprietary information, which is privileged, confidential, or subject to copyright belonging to FBI. This E-mail is intended solely for the use of the individual (YOU) to whom it is addressed. You are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution, copying, or action taken in relation to the contents of and attachments to this E-mail is strictly prohibited and unlawful.

But you didn’t actually address it to me?!

Regards,
James B. Comey, Jr.
Director, FBI
J. Edgar Hoover building
935 Pennsylvania Av,
NW Washington D.C.20535-0001.

CC: Canadian Police Association
CC: General Intelligence Department (GID)
CC: Asia Pacific Group on Money Laundering (APG)
CC: Egmont Group
CC: European Bank for Reconstruction and Development (EBRD)
CC: Financial Action Task Force (FATF)
CC: International Monetary Fund (IMF)
CC: International Organization of Securities Commissions (IOSCO)
CC: International Banking Security Association (IBSA)
CC: International Air Transport Association (IATA)
CC: Institut de Formation Interbancaire (INSIG)
CC: World Customs Organization (WCO)
CC: Inter-American Development Bank (IADB)
CC: Offshore Group of Banking Supervisors (OGBS)
CC: World Central Bank (SW)
CC: Nigeria Police Force (NPF) <- OH!! Now this makes it LEGIT!
CC: North Yorkshire Police ( UK )
CC: Economic Financial Crime Commission (EFCC).

 
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