Spammy – Super Secret Spy Stuff



Dear Funds Beneficiary,

Attn: Mr. /Mrs.,

This is an official letter from the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) foreign remittance/telegraphic transfers monitoring department.

An official letter sent via email… ooooookay

It has come to our notice that the sum of US$10,500,000.00 (ten million, five hundred thousand dollars) was transferred into Federal Reserve Bank in your FAVOR – as the beneficiary for final crediting into your personal bank account. The banks in Africa, Asia and Europe knowing full well that they do not have enough facilities to effect this payment via their corresponding bank used what we know as a “secret diplomatic transit payment” (S.D.T.P) to wire this funds to enable them achieve final crediting into your personal bank account.
Oooh a “secret diplomatic transit payment”. That sounds like super secret spy stuff!
Secret diplomatic wire transfers are funds relating to terrorist and drug sponsoring. Why must your payment be made in secret transfer if your transaction is legitimate? If you are not a terrorist or drug dealer, then why did you not receive the funds directly into your bank account? This is purely 100% illegal method of transferring funds which from our previous experiences have always been related to terrorist / drug act. We do not want you to get into enormous trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your bank account, so it is our duty as a worldwide commission to correct this little problem and this fund will be swiftly credited into your bank account.

Wait! You think I’m involved in super secret spy stuff?! ME!!

With full concern of the CIA, World Bank, IMF, United Nations, we wish to remind you of the consequences of remitting such huge sum of money without complying fully with the provisions of the Financial and Allied Matters Decree 5 as amended in sub-section C (6) of 2003, which stipulates that any monetary transaction of huge sum must have proper records that duly guarantees and covers the transaction as legitimate and legally acquired and not criminally or terrorist associated funds. This is due to the ongoing terrorist activities/economic crimes going on in the entire world.
Ha-ha! I read that as ‘Allied Masters Degree’!
We have gone through your identity records and our department on money transfers investigation signaled that you have some funds awaiting settlement and final crediting into your bank account. We advice you contact us immediately, as your funds have been temporarily placed on hold at the Federal Reserve bank here in United States based on our instruction until you can provide us with – Diplomatic Immunity Seal of Transfer (DIST) Clearance certificate (within 3 days) to fully regularize the transfer and certify that the funds you are about to receive is terrorist, drug and crimes free so that we shall instruct Federal Reserve Bank to release the funds to you immediately for your personal use.

But you’re sending this via email? Oooookay

Based on this, you are to assure and proof to us that the funds you are about to receive is legitimate by sending to us the Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) Clearance Certificate to certify that the fund is not for drug, terrorism money. You are to forward the document to us immediately if you have it in your possession. But if you don’t have it, kindly let us know so that we can direct you to the particular government agency that issues this document because we have come to realize that the funds were authorized by the bank that launched the transfer. So, we need your immediate response on this and cooperation in getting the funds release clearance paper to enable us resolves this matter without arresting you.

Why is this email so damn long?!

WARNING: This E-mail and any of its attachments may contain FBI proprietary information, which is privileged, confidential, or subject to copyright belonging to FBI. This E-mail is intended solely for the use of the individual (YOU) to whom it is addressed. You are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution, copying, or action taken in relation to the contents of and attachments to this E-mail is strictly prohibited and unlawful.

But you didn’t actually address it to me?!

James B. Comey, Jr.
Director, FBI
J. Edgar Hoover building
935 Pennsylvania Av,
NW Washington D.C.20535-0001.

CC: Canadian Police Association
CC: General Intelligence Department (GID)
CC: Asia Pacific Group on Money Laundering (APG)
CC: Egmont Group
CC: European Bank for Reconstruction and Development (EBRD)
CC: Financial Action Task Force (FATF)
CC: International Monetary Fund (IMF)
CC: International Organization of Securities Commissions (IOSCO)
CC: International Banking Security Association (IBSA)
CC: International Air Transport Association (IATA)
CC: Institut de Formation Interbancaire (INSIG)
CC: World Customs Organization (WCO)
CC: Inter-American Development Bank (IADB)
CC: Offshore Group of Banking Supervisors (OGBS)
CC: World Central Bank (SW)
CC: Nigeria Police Force (NPF) <- OH!! Now this makes it LEGIT!
CC: North Yorkshire Police ( UK )
CC: Economic Financial Crime Commission (EFCC).

~ by Oden on October 28, 2014.

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