Esprit De Escalier

What was your first full thought this morning?

I woke up this morning thinking that I love my home.

One thing you should know about me is that buying a home for the first time, on my own, was an incredibly difficult thing. I agonized over it for years, the idea that I’d be tied to something physical like that is daunting, that I was committed to something for 30 years is panic inducing, that I can no longer just pick up and go at a moments notice, on a whim is terrifying. And all of that is, yes I know, completely irrational.

That being said… this morning I woke up grateful for my home, in love with the lighting and feeling completely and utterly at home.

Posted in Question Time

What memories did you think about today?

This morning I was thinking about my grandparents. It’s been a rough couple of weeks and I miss talking to them about life, hearing their perspective on life and even though I often ignored it, listening to their advice. I was remembering a conversation my grandmother and I were having when I was in my late twenties. I’d stopped dating entirely because it was just too much work with a small child and starting a new career in a new state where I really didn’t know anyone. My grandmother, who I have to say didn’t really think highly of men, very calmly told me that she thought it was good that I focus on my job and supporting my child saying that in the long run both would serve me better when I got older, she then finished by stating that in any case all the good ones were likely married now and I should just relax for 10 years or so and wait for them to all to start getting divorced. My grandfather then jumped into the conversation, telling me that divorced men were the ticket, already house broken and more than likely trained pretty well…he was the proof. (Second marriage for both of them.)

I do miss them.

Posted in Question Time