Spammy – The Major General and I
I don’t often get approached online directly by scammers/spammers but when I do it tends to be via Google+, I have a pretty open profile there and because of the options with circles I also tend to connect with anyone. Which is probably why I occasionally have interesting conversations like this…
Hello,nice to connect with you here,I am army Major General Steven A .Cray,from Burlington,Vermont,United State,I am presently here in the Syria war under the NATO forces on peacekeeping mission.
email@example.com • Jun 25, 2:422
Hello, what time is it there?
Jun 25, 2:48 PM
At this point, I’m positive that this is a scam and start Googling…
Time here in Syria is 12 :50 AM at midnight
which country are you now?
firstname.lastname@example.org • Jun 25, 2:50 PM
I’m in the US.
Jun 25, 2:50 PM
did you read my introduction about me clearly?
email@example.com • Jun 25, 2:52 PM
Jun 25, 2:52 PM
I hope the Syria war here is not new to you?
firstname.lastname@example.org • Jun 25, 2:53 PM
No, I’m aware
Jun 25, 2:54 PM
Ok I am 51 and I am single I lost my ex wife in the 2007 indonesia plane crash
Are you there?
email@example.com • Jun 25, 3:06 PM
It didn’t take long at all to determine that everything this person had typed was inaccurate. If you’re going to attempt to scam someone why do it with a real live person who has loads of info on them readily available online?! You’d think that an average person would be much easier to spoof, right?! At this point I went on about my workday and other as an anecdote on Facebook, I didn’t think on it much more.
And then a few hours later I receive this:
Hello my dear ,
It gives me great joy.(Now I understand the fact that we are far apart, but I did not measure the distance to a good relationship or friendship that I will be with you, in fact, the relationship makes you stronger) What is your own point of that?I believe that we together can start a relationship and I really no jokes,as the feelings of the heart is very important to me, because my heart is very fragile and I will like not to be trifled with as it’s wisely said: “Do unto others what you want them to do unto you.” I am very ambitious and intelligent, I also have a bright prospect for life. I have a wonderful sense of humor.
I can easily adapt to most situations. I love to explore new things, catch a movie,play golf ,table tennis and go to beach,especially on my vacation, I love listening to different music, I enjoy a meaningful intimate conversation, I believe in good / strong communication with someone of my heart, it has a higher degree of honesty, trust and respect between the two partners to be as effective in a relationship involved, I love to laugh and smile. I love to read, to cook and travel. My interests are varied. I am honest, intelligent, loyal, affectionate, easy going, romantic, soft spoken and sensual. I am romantic and caring. I love nature,appearance is very important if you were not so similar, this kind of been boring?
Everyone needs their interests, likes / dislikes, hobbies, views, etc, because these things which make us unique, it is hard to put into words what you think you can look at someone, because at some point you do not know what you are looking for until you stumble upon them in the dark and stub your toe on it. Of course, you want someone who has similar interests, hobbies, views, etc. make so there are some compatibility.
But on the other hands, I’m looking for a woman I can share the rest of my life with, the woman who is really hard working and cute , a woman who is honest, sincere, loving, trust-worthy woman.
The woman who I can share with laughter, joke, fun, and understanding, I am also looking for a romantic woman like you that make me a taste, I’m open minded, easy going, down to earth.
I will like to spend the rest of my life with you if you don’t mind and I will be expecting to hear from you as soon as possible.
Weeeellll ok, that’s a little cray. These emails always crack me up because they do actually play really well on the surface as bait – I mean it doesn’t read any worse than most online dating profiles you see and actually might be a really good one if you’re looking for a soft spoken, sensual and romantic man who has an odd view of interests (stub your toe on it?!). I chalk this up to a simple catfish (yes he did attach a photo of the real person) and go about my night.
Then I receive this one the next morning…
Hello my dear,I have been so worried here in the combat zone few days ago,
I got email from Barclays bank Ghana, where I deposited my money when I was in Libya war combat zone on peacekeeping mission before I deployed to Afghanistan and shuttle to Syria here,and Ghana been the nearby country while I was in Libya war on peacekeeping mission , I deposited my money $2,941,300 USD**Two million nine hundred and forty one thousand three hundred USD before I was deployed to Afghanistan and shuttle to Syria here.
And right now the bank there in Ghana wrote urgent email to me that my bank in Ghana Barclays bank Ghana want to do a change of ownership and will handover to new stake holders of the bank to take over and I do not want anything to go wrong with my money there in the bank as the money is part of my money I made plans for my retirement to settle down and to do investment after my retirement by the end of this year 2015, and right now ,the bank want me to come urgently to Ghana and to make a transfer of all my money from the bank there in Ghana.And right now,I do not have any access to bank here in the war combat zone in Syria here,My dear,I want to apply for a compulsory vacation grant from the war zone here to go to Ghana about my money there in the bank,I have plans for my money to do investment after my retirement by the end of this year,and right now ,I do not have any access to bank here for money.My dear,I want you to help me send my flight ticket fee of just $2,200 USD and you should send it through Moneygram money transfer urgently to my flight agent in Ghana to do booking for my flight ticket and he will send to me the flight schedule to me and I will onboard a plane from Damascus international airport here in Syria and fly to Kotoka international airport Ghana to solve about transfer of my money from the bank there in GhanaAnd as soon as I finish from there in Ghana,I will onboard a plane to transit to meet you in your country and we both will make plans about our marriage and investment plans,as I am considering a hotel investment to do in your country when I arrive to you in your country. I will like to buy a hotel in your country and also buy a new house that we both to live there in your country and we to settle down there together,
My dear,I will pay you back your money as soon as I arrive to you in your country,I want you to give me your mobile phone number and home address you should forward it into my email inbox here and please,tell me the nearest airport to your city where I will land when I arrive to your country,I will send to you now the receiver’s name and information of my flight agent so that you can go to Moneygram in bank or any Moneygram money transfer ocation centre near to you and send the $2,200 USD to the receiver’s name urgently through Moneygram money transfer ,and after you send it, you will make a scan copy of the payment receipt and send to me here on my email inbox: firstname.lastname@example.org and I will forward it to my flight agent in Ghana and he to receive the money urgently to do. My dear,my flight agent will send to me my flight ticket booking schedule and hotel accomodation details before I arrive to Ghana as soon as you send the money and he complete everything to be done.
This is the receiver name and information to send the money to my flight agent in Ghana urgently:
Sender’s Name…….your own name
Receiver’s name…..BARRY OTU DANIEL
Mode of sending…..Moneygram money transfer
please,my dear,as soon as you send the money ,you should make a scan copy of the payment receipt of the money you send at moneygram and send it into my email inbox here:email@example.com and I will forward it to my flight agent in Ghana immediately and he to receive it and do booking for my flight ticket urgently as I have explained to you.
I love you with all my heart ,please my dear act quickly about it,I want to meet you soon.
Yours affectionately,your love,
Dammit!! And I was enjoying the silly courtship part! This has to be the shortest romantic lead up to a money grab in the history of spammers and I am disappointed at this fumbled conversion – because military personnel would have money in a bank in Ghana, and Ghana is so close to Libya much less Syria and Afghanistan, never mind the buying a hotel in “my country”, opps and why exactly would you need a flight agent in Ghana when you’re a Major General?! LOL
Thank you internet, your riches of ridiculousness never cease to tickle me.