Dear C – Kitty of Destruction
I’m concerned lately and come to you for guidance on the matter. You see I have this cat, adorable, soft, fluffy and sweet, yet he regularly steals your likeness from my alter. Sometimes, as in the picture below, it appears he’s only looking for a nap companion but on others he is quite rough, tossing you into the air and pouncing with all the force his little 9lb body can muster.
Have you seen this behavior before?! Or heard of it from another minion perhaps? I worry he may be bent on your destruction, which would disappoint me greatly. Please let me know your thoughts and instructions at your earliest convenience.
Your Most Ardent Devotee