Dear Cthulhu – Jan 6 2014
I was watching television last week and came across another Freemason inspired tale of mystery. Naturally I thought of you, being the most excellent minion that I am, I wondered if you have ever considered the fear that the Freemasons inspire? I mean they’re smack dab at the heart of so many conspiracy theories. The only conspiring my grandfather did, as a Freemason, was how to make it out of the house to a meeting with a bottle of booze without my grandmother catching him but I digress… Something you should consider, I mean the power of a secret society, closely guarded secrets and rituals, fear and terror in the hearts of men, all good things to a potential overlord. Yes?
Well, another year has begun and with that all of this insane, change your life, be better, planning frenzy. Do you have resolutions? I bet if you do they’re far more interesting than adding more kale to your diet… World domination, perhaps? The ability to dream away for few more years? I’ve decided that as a resolution this year I will renew my focus on finding potential sacrifices for you. I’m going on the assumption that if find them suitable, for whatever reason, that you may too find them such. Hmmm here’s a sparkly candidate….
I look forward to your feedback on my efforts.
With a devoted heart,