Dear Cthulhu June 11th

Dear Cthulhu,

I’m back at work this week, which reminds me that I have been a wee bit lazy lately in my search for a suitable sacrifice. Could you give me a hint? What type of person appeals to you the most? I have so many *candidates* to choose from. How do you feel about consultants?

This past week had more than its fair share of drama, which normally reminds me that I really need to be more compassionate with people. Then today I realized that this is totally up your alley, I mean you could so help me out here! How about you just go ahead and make them full on nuts? I mean I’m sure the half way nuts thing is very amusing to you and with all of that time on your hands I’m sure you aren’t in any kind of rush but how about you make up your mind on this one? The same old poor decision making and lack of boundaries must be getting as tired for you as it is to me. Sure, consistency is great and yes it does count but just think for a minute how exciting a full on psychotic break would be? Or you could be a total radical and go in the opposite direction, OMG a long duration of clarity?! Wow! The possibilities there! That could in turn shock the equivalent of a small nation into a catatonic state. I mean live a little, do something different, shake things up, rattle a cage or two…. Or not I mean it’s totally up to you…of course…

Also let’s chat a little about this whole anxiety thing, I mean is it really necessary? What’s the grand scheme there? You get a bunch of people all hopped up on adrenaline and hormones, running amok in the streets, causing all kinds of problems, being rude, sending out snarky emails, generally ruining the day for all of your faithful servants. That’s not terribly effective now is it? I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that maybe, just maybe, you may want to consider flexing your pimp hand every now and again, keep it strong, you know – smote some bitches. Other gods do it all the time AND they are feared by millions, just a little something to consider as you’re looking towards your future rule.

Smote has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

Sincerely yours,


~ by Oden on June 11, 2012.

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