Systems of Government
Somehow I manage to find and lose this one repeatedly so I’m sticking it here for safe keeping…
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You help to take care of them, and you all share the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who will get the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.