Top 10 Peeves About Life as a Woman
- Your Body Isn’t Yours
Doctors, teachers, coaches, bosses, male family members, care takers and complete strangers have groped me, touched me inappropriately or forced unwelcome physical contact on me and have all been astonished or even angry when I’ve said no.
“Boys will be boys.” Boys should be taught to keep their hands to themselves.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Hmmm grabbing my butt means what else?!
“But it felt good, right?” WTF!!
“You were asking for it!” While saying get off of me? M-kay…
- And You Better Look the Part
Because the moment you are not a perfect size, with perky everything, and impeccable makeup and hair, and a big smiling face you just aren’t going to measure up. Like Kim Kardashian’s “effortless makeup free face” … Uhh a face with full contouring, a smoky eye and fake eyelashes is neither effortless OR makeup free…but thanks for putting that out there.
- And Suck Up the Critiques
Well, naturally because if you aren’t looking the part then you’re going to have to deal with the BS – you become a flat chested, pig who doesn’t have the right “look”, you’re shrewish and lack stamina. And you don’t just get it from men, other women feel the need to shame you too. I’ll admit I’m grateful that I haven’t had to deal with much of this – something I should ever have to feel!! Because of the way that I look!! Because that matters?!
- And Be Feminine
Growing up I was often told to be a “little lady”, I still am not at all certain the that really means but based on the times it came up… don’t be tough, don’t get dirty, don’t have a voice, be quiet, accepting, play along and mind your manners always…be decorative!
- And NEVER EVER HAVE Emotions
Because they are not at all allowed! I mean men can be pissed, yell and scream, have tantrums, be rude, annoying or pushy and they’re given a pass but women? Well obviously we are PMSing, taking things personally and completely wrong about the situation – we’re being EMOTIONAL or CRAZY!
- Or Ambition
My favorite horrible male boss story was the time that I was told during a 90-day review that I was a bad mother because I wanted to move into management – that I’d have to devote so much effort and sacrifice so much time that my child would suffer for it. Never mind that I was working 80 hour weeks for him already….
- Or Independence
I’ll freely and repeatedly admit that I have trust and control issues. I prefer to have my own money, house, car and not have to depend on anyone to take care of me. And by prefer I mean I won’t have it any other way. That doesn’t make me butch or crazy. It just means that I have seen far too many women ruined because they didn’t have a backup plan and if I’m going to fall on my butt it’ll be because I screwed up, not anyone else.
- Or Needs
Because having your own needs that someone else has to live up to is right up there with having emotions but worse because now you are demanding… I can’t really apologize for setting expectations about how I want to be treated, or telling you when you aren’t meeting them. But if I’m a crazy bitch for expecting you to be honest, responsible and respectful – so be it.
- But Be Sensitive to Men
I was raised to be subservient and even submissive to men but not from the perspective that women were less than men. Instead I was told over and over that men were like children that needed extra care and handling, that by being submissive I was actually being the stronger one. That somehow by catering to my husband’s every need I would in turn be fulfilled… complete BS, utter nonsense, I cannot even. But I did and even now find myself holding my tongue because a man is demanding something first – lean in ladies.
- That I Should Strive to Have It All
I’ve come to realize that the worst thing that’s been imposed on me is this notion that I should be a wife, mother, daughter, worker, friend and exceed all of the expectations of those roles in order to be a well-rounded and fulfilled woman. That the sum of my service to others, my talents at juggling all of those requirements, and my ability to stay slim, cheerful and accomplished is the only true measure of my success as a woman.
Well… my child ate cereal for dinner and occasionally wore dirty clothes, I’ve screwed up projects, disappointed my parents, lost my cool, divorced my husband, been a miserable size 00 and a happy size 12, sacrificed friendships, ugly cried, gone to the grocery store in PJs and have been completely unproductive for entire weekends. And I’ve survived it all and feel like more of a woman for it.
At the end of all of this I can say one thing – it’s exhausting being a woman, being polite when you’re manhandled, being calm and quiet in the face of sexism, being the bigger person when I really want to pitch a fit, and just living in this world, in this body, day in and day out.